Why I didn't announce my pregnancy on Facebook

About a year into our marriage, I decided I didn't want to wait anymore to start trying to get pregnant. After my sister's experience, I knew it could take a while, so I didn't want to waste any more time.

Well, it did take a while. 

We started simply- just taking away the barriers. Then I began to "track" and we began to "schedule" and all those things that make you feel like you're doing something useful when you're really just causing more stress. Well I guess it was useful at least in that it pushed me to talk to the doctor. In the end, my problem was a simple one of irregularity and adjusted easily by a little pill. (This is certainly making a long story short, as is my custom.). 

The emotional journey seemed endless. I've never cried out to The Lord so strongly before. It became so hard to hope that things would ever change. But somehow, I never did completely lose hope. Again and again I had to lay my dreams at God's feet and beg Him to help me believe that His plans for me were good. The hardest months were those right before we got pregnant. 

On March 26, I saw the magical two lines and fell to my knees. How do people not immediately shout out this news? Everything had changed. My dreams were coming true. 

But there was a reason for my journey, and I didn't want to forget that. I had known so many people who had similar experiences and it didn't make my pain any more bearable. I didn't want to forfeit my pain for my joy, crazy at that sounds. 

One thing that I held onto for the sake of others was keeping my pregnancy off of social media. The people who needed to know could find out the old fashioned way. 

I've heard so many sermons on suffering through the years, but this Sunday was the first one I have heard from the "other side." It was on Romans 5:3-5, "Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us." This was the first time I could see the full circle of my experience and realize how true this verse is! I did persevere, which built my character more than anything else in my life. And that character building did allow me to continue to hope in my God.

The day before, I had received my first baby shower. During this celebration with dear friends who expressed so much love and joy for me and my little baby, I realized that by holding on to my experience of suffering I was not allowing others to rejoice with me. By trying to protect others who might be hurting like I had, I disregarded those that wanted to celebrate this new joy with me.

I am still processing many things about my journey and this new transition, but one thing I have realized is that God's reasoning for what happens in my life is not yet known to me, and I shouldn't come to my own conclusions about it. That being said, I would like to encourage all you women who may be experiencing the pain of suffering through infertility- not to tell you that your story will be the same as mine, but to assure you that God does love you and have a good plan for you, and that I know that is so hard to believe right now. And for those who are dying to celebrate the life that is growing in my womb, I welcome you with open arms and apologize for the delay in the invitation.

And now the best news of my life so far:

Adelaide Hope Eaton is expected to arrive December 4, 2014!

On The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Dear Friend,

I have seen a handful a people share a quote from this story in the social media and it has got me thinking. You probably know this, but social media is like Facebook or Twitter and that kind of stuff.

Incidentally, I saw the movie in December with my sisters. My initial reaction was to think that it was depressing. But then I kept thinking about it. And over the years I have determined that to me a good movie is one that I continue to think about after it is over. Then I read some about it on the internet and decided that I would read the book.

I have just finished the book and I was depressed again. But I still kept thinking about it. Even though I knew the story, since it was exactly the same as the movie. That's when I saw the quote floating around. This is the quote: "We accept the love we think we desserve." It's one of those quotes that people will always quote. I think because it sounds like an epiphany every time you hear it.

But here's the thing it got my thinking about. That quote is the very reason why the movie and the book and the real life connotations of the story are so depressing. It also brought to mind another movie I watched recently. The movie was Les Miserables. (SPOILER ALERT) You have probably seen it and already know this, but the police man character Javert commits suicide. After the movie I said that I thought that was unnecessary and that he didn't need to die. But my friends said that it was because he couldn't accept forgiveness. Forgiveness has to be accepted. Incidentally, that is the premise of grace.

So that got my thinking about the Gospel. And how there are 4 laws of the Gospel and that the fourth law is just as important as the others. Sometimes we focus on God loving us, or that we are sinful, or that Jesus died on the cross for our sins and then rose again and defeated death. And those are all very important. But maybe the last part is the most important. Incidentally, you have to receive forgiveness or you sins and you have to receive salvation. And so if we accept only the love we think we deserve, how could we ever hope for anything more than the life portrayed in The Perks of Being a Wallflower? Because we certainly don't desserve Jesus and His forgiveness.

Anyways, I hope that all makes sense to you. Even despite all the depressing stuff in the story, I really like Charlie. To me, he is probably the most relatable book character I have ever met. Besides all the drugs, sex, and trauma, that is. I have always thought of myself as a kind of wallflower. And I guess he kind of inspired me. If Charlie can get out there and participate, and his life is definitely worse than mine, though he wouldn't say worse, just different, then I guess I can too.

So if I don't blog for a while, don't worry. I might be too busy participating.

Love always,
Lydia

P.S.- Incidentally, I think maybe this would be a much better line to quote, about participating.

Autumn and Apples

Again: never posted. Well, at least they are still in order...


It must be fall. I say this not because of a nip in the air or football season. No, I know that it is (or at least should be) fall because of pinterest- the recipes, the decorations, the fashion.

I love fall. I really do. It is my favorite season (a lot of that has to do with the fact that I can wear scarves without judgement). And I think that last year (my first year in the pinworld) I embraced all that pinterest could offer me, since the weather had so little to give. But this year, things are different. I mean, I can actually use my fireplace.

Look out world- this is a whole new fall- the real kind. Not the fake, Florida kind. This ain't no Melekiliki maka, people. THIS IS GEORGIA!

Ok, so I'm kind of excited for a taste of the seasons! I insisted we have a fireplace so that I can actually hang out stockings on a mantel! So, of course, we wasted no time jumping into the season the right way: apple picking!

Labor Day Weekend

So it seems somehow this post never got posted. Sorry it's so late, but enjoy!

Labor Day weekend we took a trip to Pensacola for a wedding. We got to stay with my sister and her husband, and see this bundle of joy:

Hanging with Uncle Kevin

I just can't get enough

The beautiful bride

Someone asked Kevin how old she was- his response, "I don't know, she's not mine!" Obvs, check out the hair!

Even Zorro got dressed up

But it wore him out. He is an introvert, after all

If you're gonna use sunglasses as safety goggles, you're gonna need a headlamp!

Other weekends have been spent in fall fun or making out house a home. We got some nice stuff for our balcony, and we are super excited to enjoy it on those crisp evenings in the coming months!

These are just some misc. pics for your viewing pleasure:

My view from the office every morning

Zorro being artsy. This ain't no instagram- it's all natural!

Be Missed

The church that we have been attending and plan to make our home church has been in a sermon series entitled "Be Missed." The idea being that our lives should be such a light that if we disappeared, we would be missed. 

Well, this has resonated in the vacancies of my heart. I knew moving away would be hard; it is. August was a crazy month: we got the green light to move on July 30, and drove off that Saturday. Here's a little picture synopsis to get you up to speed.

That little lump doesn't even know!

Saying goodbye to dear friends- but can't put that baby down!

Zorro was a trooper on the 9+ hour drive

Zorro made a new friend!

A warm welcome

Hello, Old Friend.

This is an all-too-familiar sight.

Inaugurating

On the way in I laughed at the twine station. On the way out, it laughed at me. 

First day of school!, I mean, work!

A broken engine? Seriously? At Target?!

Not the same, but better than nothing. 

Happy Birthday, Kevin the Knight!

Kennesaw Mountain- Historical Battlefield

I felt like a hiking poser- these people are serious!

This is what it's all about- Cru @ KSU

Reppin' UCF for Tailgate Tasty Tuesday!

We are having some grand adventures up here, but we are anxious to find community. And we are finding there are more complications in being away from family than just love- finding a dog sitter, for instance. 

P.S.- We have a guess bedroom- come visit!

Obsessed

I often say that I am not a very passionate person because I don't get over-excited about things. But the truth is that I just don't get excited about the normal stuff like sports, music, food and alcohol. I do, however, have a history of obsession with a number of things.

Let me introduce you to my latest obsession:

Daisy Love

This is that long awaited niece I told you about months ago. She is the greatest, cutest baby in the world! She made me this picture frame for my birthday!

So you can see why I am obsessed. I try to not be overbearing about it, but everyone knows who wants to hold the baby when she's done eating!

Here's a few more pictures for you enjoyment:

Daisy at the beach

Daisy's first Independence Day

Daisy holding Aunt Lydia's hand

I can't wait til she can wear her "Auntie gives the best candy" onesie! That is, if I can unpack it in time!

Quotes

My family takes the cake when it comes to quotes! It's like an improv trivia game every day, especially for outsiders. Kevin hasn't even seen half the movies we quote regularly, but now he knows which quote is from where.

Sometimes we even quote ourselves, because as 6 year old Deborah would say, "I especially like the way I talk." I mean, can you get any more quotable than that?!

One very quotable movie is the epic Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring. I pick Fellowship because 1.) I have seen it the most and 2.) I think it has the best lines. My most favorite and the most epic line and scene is Gandalf's "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" I like to recreate this any time I have a large stick in my hands.

Recently, due to upcoming changes in our life, I have been thinking of another great line from Gandalf at the very beginning of the film. As Gandalf arrives to the Shire on his cart, Frodo confronts him with a smirk, saying, "You're late!" Gandalf's response is perfect: "A wizard is never late, Frodo. Nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to."

Isn't that just like God? I am in a constant state of wishing to be further along in my life, to have something I don't yet have, longing for something that seems just outside my grasp. Why am I wishing my life away for things that are so far outside of my control, no matter how much I believe I have power over it? For a year and a half, Kevin and I have been expectant of a change we thought was just around the corner at any minute, not understanding what was taking so long. And still we can only grasp at benefits of waiting and growing, but ultimately the answer is that God is never late. Nor is He early. And we are precisely in His timing, just as we have been all along.

If only that would just stick in my head for longer than one minute!